Dear Bikram Choudhury...

I'm pissed. I'm fuming. I'm livid. I'm bewildered. I'm shocked. I'm appalled. I'm beyond distraught.

None of these descriptions are any I have ever used after leaving my happy place: glorious bikram.

Normally when I leave Bikram Yoga at Mockingbird and Abrams in Dallas, Texas I am refreshed, rejuvenated, relaxed, joyous, cheerful, and on top of the world.

 Last night when I left Bikram Yoga in Mission Hills on Hancock Street in San Diego, California I was pissed, fuming, livid, bewildered, shocked, appalled, and beyond distraught.

Here's why...

the front desk girl was less than friendly in helping me get signed up as i was excited to be at a place i thought would become my favorite in all of san diego...

i then roamed aimlessly to find the locker room since the less than helpful front desk girl was in no mood to direct me or give me a tour of my new studio. once there i realized i had drank all my water on the way to class (good girl!!!) I freed my hands to go find the water fountain.

nope.

no water fountain.

okay. no big deal. next best thing. the sink in the womens locker room.

oh my water bottle doesnt fit under the spout? OH COME ON. of course. awesome.

woo saa.

okay. no big deal. grab a few bucks and go to the front desk. buy a bottled water.

hey less than warm and friendly front desk girl, how much is a bottled water?

"ummmm can you not see the prices???"

bitch, obviously i cant see the prices otherwise i wouldnt be asking you to read them aloud.

okay. heres a dollar.

"um, you dont want FIJI???"

no. i want to give you this $1 dollar bill and in exchange i would like you to hand me that large cold bottle of arrowhead spring water on the top shelf. thank you.

okay. its time. im good. ive got my water. im ready. im excited. im happy to be here.

finally. the moment ive been waiting for.

ahh the heat. ive missed you. it feels so goo.... CARPET?!?! EWW WHAT THE HELL? who has carpet in their bikram studios anymore? grosss o m g. it smells so bad in here. i cant believe they have carpet.

woo saa.

i told myself not to be perturbed when the 148 yr old tiny woman with arms and legs more frail than my ear lobe put her mat right next to mine even though there was no one on the other side of her.

i simply scooted my mat over. she smiled and told me she liked my colorful towel. okay thank you.

fine. on with class.

in comes "Hank" (names have been changed to protect the identity of the guilty)

Hank is wearing board shorts. and he is not fit.

thats fine. he doesnt need to be. im not looking at him anyway.

"focus one spot at yourself in the mirror"

ommm. breathing exercises. in through your nose and out through your mouth. happy place. happy place.

HEY JEANNE CALMENT!! QUIT SKIPPING AHEAD!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeanne_Calment

Hank, this is where you say "okay. slow. stay with me, dont skip ahead, head back, six count, anddd elbows touch" TELL HER HANK!! TELL HER TO CHILL OUT!!

ugh why arent they listening to me? cant they hear my mental telepathy messages YELLING AT THEM?!?

WOO SAA.

okay. its fine. back bend to forward bend.

Bikram says "If you want to change your life do more back bends."

and forward bend... with your happy smiling faces. (hank didnt say it. but i still smiled)

What i love most about bikram is its 90 minutes of no thinking. i literally dont think at all. and for a female who over thinks every thing until i turn blue it is such a nice break in the day.

but in hanks class i thought through the whole thing.

i thought: lady scoot over. lady quit flailing your arms. lady im gonna break you in half. hank you should probably be doing this with us, just sayin. ladyyyyyyyy. hey guy in the back row, quit looking at me, ya i see you. these shorts keep riding up. its so annoying. i wish i wore those other boogie shorts. i wonder if lululemon has any new bikram shorts. her sports bra is really cute. i wonder where the closest lululemon is? i wish i had my book. i wish my book was on my ipod. ooo i wish i had my ipod.

86 minutes left.

THERE IS A CLOCK ON THE WALL. WHAT THE HELL. what kind of yoga place is this?

Why is there a clock??? so i can watch how painstakingly slow this class goes while old woman rivers over here thrashes her body around the room?

woo saa. focus. breathe. happy place.

okay floor series. half way. of course IT DIDNT HAVE TO BE FLOOR SERIES TO KNOW IM HALF WAY THROUGH CLASS THOUGH BECAUSE... THERE IS A FREAKING CLOCK ON THE WALL. ugh so annoying.

get through. get through elisa.

holy cow the carpet stinks down here. i cant even breathe. how can i keep my mouth closed and breathe through my nose? it smells so bad. oh i have a sinus infection too. ugh. i need kleenex. hey hank i need kleenex. oh. no kleenex. ya. of course not. okay. its hotter down here. is it hotter? is that possible? there have to be floor heaters? how can i let my heart rate slow if its hotter down here? its seriously hotter on the floor. what is going on?!?!

LADYYYY SLOW DOWN!!!

the light at the end of the tunnel. last few postures. thank God. i'm almost through class.

head to knee with stretching. i love this one. okay. cheer up. this is supposed to be your happy place elisa. its almost over. you got this.

and now. the moment ive been waiting for. the moment that will make the last 90 minutes all worth while. that one word that will make me forget everything i hated about this class. its all gonna be okay once hank says it. come on hank

"okay guys, great class. good job first timers. have a good night"

.....................................................

UMMM??? WHAT THE HELL???

.................. THATS ITS????

HANK??? you forgetting something????

NO NAMASTE???!!!!

this is unsat. 
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=unsat

what kind of yoga place is this? seriously? am i being punked? ashton? are you here? you took it too far. this isnt even funny.

yoga is supposed to be my thing. my zen. my happy. my cloud 9. my no thinking, just being.

my second class within the week is free and you know how we love our free shit. so im gonna go and pray for hanks sake that its a different yogi teaching and that they have gotten rid of the carpet and clock and installed a water fountain.

and if not i guess ill continue to do my research to find a new spot even though my first reaction was to start packing up the uhaul so i could go back to Bikram in Dallas. woo saa...

cross your fingers.

 oh and namaste*, world wide web.

tomorrow if a golden train came to take you away...

sabbatical sally here and happy to say I am getting all settled in nicely in san diego. i am loving every minute. the pups are happy. i am happy.

i had a friend come in town this past weekend and i made my first rendezvous up to anaheim to go to disneyland. it was such a fun filled day with friends, food, and roller coasters!!! i love roller coasters. dont you?!?!

life is kinda like one big roller coaster...

we have ups and downs and we never know whats coming next.

sometimes we are in dark tunnels and sometimes we feel like we are on top of the world. you can be all the way up there where you can see the view of the whole city at the perfect time right at sunset then when we least expect it... you can drop down as low as you can go in a split second. maybe even do a loopty loo... your stomach is in your throat. your whole world is tossed upside down.

but the highs make the lows all worth while.

i think life is about accepting the lows, learning from them and always appreciating the highs and realizing you cant stay up or down forever. 

and you, my dear, are my favorite roller coaster. whether you are here or there or hot or cold.

the highs make the lows all worth while.

here's to appreciating all that comes with the roller coaster we call life, world wide web

heartbreak hotel

lets get back on track, eh?

this blog was not intended to tell the world wide web every time some guy hurt my feelers.

SABBATICAL sally. back on track.

literally.

im restless. thats what i do. i live. i love. i laugh. then i relocate and repeat steps 1-3 (brian mcknight, anyone?) :)
 
Back to One-Brian McKnight  -flash back to 6th grade!! Shout out to cody ryan, my first boyfriend! sigh*

(.......adderall is wearing off)

what was i saying?

o right...

i have no time to be blogging my little heart out because....... i am MOVING.

yes. its the second time i have loaded all my belongings into a 6' x 12' U-Haul cargo trailer and dragged it behind my 4runner to head west bound.

but moving is a relative term for someone like sabbatical sally. san francisco lasted a whopping 8 months.

san diego has the potential to last 1 day (my mom wishes) or 100 years (God, please take me before i reach the ripe old age of 124!)

silly questions ive been getting:

why are you moving to san diego?

           -who doesnt want to live in san diego? next question please.

how long are you going to live there?

          -how often do you move somewhere with all your shit in a uhaul and think... "this will be fun for a few weeks/months?" dumb. 

takin it a day at a time.

and my personal favorite...

 

are you taking your dogs?

            -no, im actually dropping them off at the pound on my way out of town...WHATT?? if you were moving would it be a logical question for someone to ask you "are you taking your children?" very dumb. 

here is where i apologize to anyone that is reading this that has asked me any of those questions! :) sorry!! hehe

mmk... back to packing up my life in brown boxes. 

night night, world wide web.

give in to me. leighton meester and garrett hedlund.

i've been somewhat judgmental of people who are with one person when they want to be with someone else. I kept pointing my finger and shaking my head... and even getting angry about it. it really turns me off. i just never want to be the girl that someone is with because they can't be with the girl they really wanna be with. How sad for all parties involved. this poor girl thinks she has an awesome boyfriend who is completely devoted to her, but actually he's just using her to suppress memories of the girl he wishes he was with? and hell, who knows. maybe shes doing it to him, too. so its a fake relationship based on being with the next best thing??

so while I was thinking about all that I stepped back and realized...

I was doing it, too.

It's real easy to get caught in a similar situation... The guy you want to be with is unavailable for one reason or the other (probably bc he is still hooked on his last girl) so you end up hanging out with someone else and all the sudden they have feelings for you and you're still thinking about mr. unavailable and here you are in the same predicament that you've been judging others for. So here's what I've decided.

My heart is set on you
I don’t want no one else
And if you don’t want me
I guess I’ll be all by myself

might seem silly to some people that you would just choose to be alone if you can't have the one you want but to me it makes perfect sense. Why would you continue this never ending cycle of hurting yourself and those around you when you could be the bigger person and just decide to deal with your shit on our own. can you not be alone? I'm not gonna bring someone else into this mess.

I know what I want. I know I can't have it. So I'll sit here and sulk for a minute then I'll get up and go to yoga and get on with my life. I'm not saying you should be alone forever. I'm just saying that I don't wanna be with anyone else until they make me feel as good as I did with him.

Giddy. Racing heart. Butterflies. Smile til it hurts.... I deserve that.

And the guy I'm with deserves for me to feel that way about him. and he should feel that way about me. And so. Until I find that "I guess I'll be all by myself"

this might seem dramatic or extreme, especially for the certain circumstance i am in. i mean i dont even think you could call it dating. and maybe i never even wanted him to be my boyfriend. and maybe hes not my dream guy. all i know is that the feeling that i get when i am with him, think about him, get a call/text from him...

that. is. wonderful.

and i dont know what it is about him that made me feel that way. but whatever it is. its addicting. and i want it. so if im gonna be with anyone- i want them to make me feel like that- i dont wanna live my life in a mediocre relationship with someone i think is nice and funny but doesnt give me butterflies when he walks into a room.

maybe i didnt believe in that feeling before, but now that i know it exists im not giving in til i have it.

 how bout them apples, world wide web?

Okay, OKAY! I hear you!!

I was taking a before bed shower, listening to a random mix of country music on shuffle from my iPhone. I happened to be singing along (seeing as how I have heard all those songs about 100x since they are on my iPhone) even though I wasnt all there mentally. Im not sure why but for some reason my head just wasnt all there. Then suddenly I realized I was about 1/2 way through a song I love. By Eli Young Band! Love them! I started singing it louder. And louder. Then I paid attention to the lyrics... Then...I froze.




You've got a heart that's broken and a will that's given up
A cynical mind and a soul that's worn and rough
You're a fighter, no one can get the best of you
Don't let 'em stay too close, that's why you play every man for a fool

I don't care, you can live your life alone
Was only tryin' to show you how to love again
Tried and tried to chip away your heart of stone
Was only tryin' to show you how to love again

How are you gonna fall if you don't take that leap
You live in fear, fear of lovin' me
And I'm givin' up, I'm givin' up on you
Because you'll never change and
Givin' your heart away is one thing you won't do

I don't care, you can live your life alone
Was only tryin' to show you how to love again
Tried and tried to chip away your heart of stone
was only tryin' to show you how to love again
love again.....

I don't care, you can live your life alone
Was only tryin' to show you how to love again
Tried and tried to chip away your heart of stone
Was only tryin' to show you how to love again
Love again.......


Signing out, world wide web.

-heart of stone

on marriage

watched definitely, maybe last night. I forgot how much I love April in that movie. I love everything she says.


I think I feel like this...

"You're asking me to give up my freedom, my joie de vivre for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds? And why should I marry you, anyway? I mean, why do you wanna marry me? Besides some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda?"
 
But if someone said this...

"I wanna marry you because you're the first person I wanna look at when I wake up in the morning, and the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. Because the first time that I saw these hands, I couldn't imagine not being able to hold them. But mainly, when you love someone as much as I love you, getting married is the only thing left to do. So, will you, um, marry me?"

then maybe I would reconsider

but thats what these movies have done to us. theyve made us think that that exists. and maybe it does.

but maybe...maybe you just

"Forget about the real deal. You don't find it. It finds you. You get to a certain age and then you're ready. You know, you're ready for kids, or commitment, or a mortgage. And the person that you're with then...they become the one."

i give myself december

but i dont deserve it. i dont deserve a month, or even an hour, where i think the world should stop turning and all eyes should be on me. but for some reason thats what i do. i tell myself and everyone around me to give me december. just give me this month. and for what? just cuz my dad decided to croak over n die one hot wednesday in december in cabo i think i should be able to pout all month? about anything and everything that happens? i make everything about me in december. im dramatic. im whiny. im prideful. im annoying. im emotional. and then i blame all that on the fact that its december. i told a couple people i hated december. i told them i want to just skip this month. if i could just fall asleep on november 30 and wake up january 1 everything would be cool. i hate december. makes sense right? no need for december anyway. then some ron made a remark like, "ya nothing in december except Jesus' birthday"

woops. and thats when it hit me. GOD SENT HIS ONLY SON TO DIE FOR YOU, YOU SELFISH PIECE OF ----. GET OFF YOUR LAZY WHINY ASS AND BE APPRECIATIVE FOR SOMETHING.

so here we are. another whiny december day. but im trying to remind myself. i have it so good.

i have it so good, world wide web.