couples shower?

I read this at the beginning of my friend's blog the other day and its so perfect. its a wonderful opening note to a blog post. (or all of them)

"Oh man, I know I'm going to offend some people with this, though that's not my heart, intention, or motivation for writing out my thoughts here tonight...Just sharing some thoughts..."
 
the point is whether or not i offend you, it was never my intention. this is my blog, biatch :) if you dont like it, kick rocks! okay so, Adrienne said it a little nicer... the good news is no one blogs to stay in good standing with people. or maybe they do? but personally i think you just put all your shizzz out there and say "sorry, im not sorry" to anyone you may offend :) (that was for all you wedding crasher fans)

alright. lets get to the meat of it. shall we?

lets dissect the shower a bit, shall we?

maybe if i say shall we some more i will get my point across :)

okay... the shower...

a time for you. naked.

maybe you breathe. maybe you think. maybe you cry. maybe you pray. maybe you have a rubber ducky. maybe you listen to music. maybe you sing at the top of your lungs. maybe you sit in the shower. maybe you stand. maybe you hop. maybe you twirl. maybe you pick your nose.

(((hopefully you bathe)))

FOR ME it is a time to be alone. a time to pray and think and listen to music that my roommate doesnt want to hear. a time to sing along with no worries in the world. a time when i feel kind of somewhat comfortable being naked. kind of. (oh and yes, i bathe)

i hate nakedness. hate it.    h-a-t-e  i-t.

if i get in the shower after a long day at work i am most definitely going to have black mascara all over my face throughout the entire shower. and im naked.

if i get in the shower in the morning i will probably sleep standing up for about 10-15 minutes before i even realize where i am. and im naked.

the point is, it is not attractive.

no matter the circumstance

being in the shower is not a sexy thing. i have boogers coming out of my nose, i'm naked, i am constantly rubbing my eyes (just making the raccoon look even worse), im naked, i leave my conditioner in my hair while i wash my bod, im naked, i use a clarisonic face washer thats loud and beeps at me,  im naked, i take forever to shave my legs, im naked, and if the water isnt completely scalding hot and covering my entire body i am freezing. did i mention im naked? and i hate nakedness????

so no.

no, thank you.

no couples shower for me.