2013: The Year of Health

Jan. 1, 2013

Its been 2.5 years since I have used the b word. It's never seemed so scary to me before. I also never found it so repulsive. It's funny what life's experiences and total assholes can do to skew your vision.

My dad used to always say "No one makes you cry... You make yourself cry!" I truly believe that to this day. I think we have a way of letting others upset us, but we have the power to decide how we handle and respond to certain circumstances. Will we let life knock us down when things get tough or will we get back on the horse?

I can honestly say I have grown more since July of 2010 than I ever have in another 2.5 year span in my life. I am happy with the woman I have become and the path I am on, but I wouldn't say I'm proud of every choice I made along the way.

2012 was monumental in a lot of ways. I made a huge move from Dallas (for the second time in my life), leaving behind my mom, my sister, my nephews... all to chase a dream. I wasn't leaving to run from anything... I was running towards something. Running towards San Diego... sunshine, the beach, friends, the promise of a new life, a better way of living... and I got it! I have the best friends anyone could ask for. I would compete in a "My friends are better than yours" competition any day of the week. We are always doing something! It is awesome. I am never bored. Any day of the week you can find me at a girls night, dinner with friends, rotating houses cooking dinners, roomie nights, movie nights, game nights, Taco Tuesdays... Almost every weekend we ride bikes up and down the boardwalk by the beach, we go to brunch, we can go out on the town or stay in. We are always having a blast. Wherever you see us, we are laughing our asses off. I love it. I love my friends and I can't imagine going back to the life I had before them in Dallas. I don't think I realized how unhappy I was, until I realized how happy I am now.

But in the last year there was a part of me that wasn't happy. I wasn't making smart choices relationship wise. I was letting 2007, 2008, and 2009 keep dragging me down. I let their mistakes and our past affect my 2012. I made poor choices. Thats why I have name 2013 the year of health.

Healthy body, mind, spirit, soul, AND relationships! I am growing the f up and getting out of this nasty habit of allowing myself to get any less than every bit of what I deserve.

Here's to 2013.


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April 24, 2013

Update: I had this sitting as a draft in my posts and since then I have used the b word. Someone finally broke down my wall. Yep. Me. The Ice Queen... I had a boyfriend. and Yep. I am saying had. Past tense. I found someone great who wanted to treat me like a princess. and I followed all my rules. I let myself get everything I deserved. I do truly believe that he treated me like a princess and loved me in the short time we were together. But I supposed sometimes it takes more than that.