but i dont deserve it. i dont deserve a month, or even an hour, where i think the world should stop turning and all eyes should be on me. but for some reason thats what i do. i tell myself and everyone around me to give me december. just give me this month. and for what? just cuz my dad decided to croak over n die one hot wednesday in december in cabo i think i should be able to pout all month? about anything and everything that happens? i make everything about me in december. im dramatic. im whiny. im prideful. im annoying. im emotional. and then i blame all that on the fact that its december. i told a couple people i hated december. i told them i want to just skip this month. if i could just fall asleep on november 30 and wake up january 1 everything would be cool. i hate december. makes sense right? no need for december anyway. then some ron made a remark like, "ya nothing in december except Jesus' birthday"
woops. and thats when it hit me. GOD SENT HIS ONLY SON TO DIE FOR YOU, YOU SELFISH PIECE OF ----. GET OFF YOUR LAZY WHINY ASS AND BE APPRECIATIVE FOR SOMETHING.
so here we are. another whiny december day. but im trying to remind myself. i have it so good.
i have it so good, world wide web.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
organized chaos
tonight will be an accumulation of thoughts and quotes. my mind is chaotic and all over the place with feelings of things that probably really dont matter. but occupying my mind all the same...
most girls have a plan to meet a guy and fall in love and have babies but i dont know if i have what it takes for everybodys regular plan. me.
"its not fun always thinking someone is out to steal from you or f*ck you. it makes trusting extremely difficult, not a fun feeling"-b.j.m.
looking
for the right
reasons
to want to
get out
of bed
each and
every
bitter cold
morning.
-Tyler Knott Gregson-
maybe i never really knew you at all. me.
most girls have a plan to meet a guy and fall in love and have babies but i dont know if i have what it takes for everybodys regular plan. me.
"its not fun always thinking someone is out to steal from you or f*ck you. it makes trusting extremely difficult, not a fun feeling"-b.j.m.
"This is the thing: When you hit 28 or
30, everything begins to divide. You can see very clearly two kinds of
people. On one side, people who have used their 20s to learn and grow,
to find … themselves and their dreams, people who know what works and
what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults. Then
there’s the other kind, who are hanging onto college, or high school
even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs they hate, because
they’re too scared to get another one. They’ve stayed with men or women
who are good but not great, because they don’t want to be lonely. … they
mean to develop intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like
life is one big frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live
in an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than when they
graduated. Don’t be like that. Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take
a risk. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness,
and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself
at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either.
Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with
your journal. Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m
living? What have I tried this month? … Do the people I’m spending time
with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my
life that’s keeping me from moving forward?” Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people
who believe … life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past,
and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet
earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and
keep traveling honestly along life’s path."-unknown
Reasons
We are alllooking
for the right
reasons
to want to
get out
of bed
each and
every
bitter cold
morning.
-Tyler Knott Gregson-
maybe i never really knew you at all. me.
if love never fails, maybe i never found it. me.
c'est la vie.
SD 2012.
Friday, December 9, 2011
hes just not that into you
Every few months, as painful as it may be, every girl should watch this movie. It is pure genius. And some of the best lines in any movie I have ever heard.
a. So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions.
b. I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn't. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting.
c. People who get married are not to be trusted. You know why? Because if you were legitimately happy, honestly you wouldn't feel the need to make a big show out of it. You wouldn't have to broadcast it. They do it because they're insecure and because they think that getting married is what they're supposed to be doing now. And so they're lying to themselves and they're lying to others.
d. Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he
likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a
wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see,
Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist,
the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But
sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn
how to read the signs. How to tell the ones who want us from the
ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And
maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your
own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for
something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just...
moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the
unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread
signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.
a. So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions.
b. I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn't. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting.
c. People who get married are not to be trusted. You know why? Because if you were legitimately happy, honestly you wouldn't feel the need to make a big show out of it. You wouldn't have to broadcast it. They do it because they're insecure and because they think that getting married is what they're supposed to be doing now. And so they're lying to themselves and they're lying to others.
okay so maybe i dont necessarily agree with this one, but its stiil a good thought provoking quote :)
and last but not least...my personal favorite!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
THAT guy
if you're a girl you probably know or have known THAT guy at one point or another in your life. and if youre a guy you've probably known THAT girl...
hes THAT guy. you know. THAT guy you never thought you'd have. the guy you drool over, but never actually think you'll talk to. the guy thats so good looking that he makes you feel insufficient and insecure just being around him. and then he talks to you. and you think theres no way this guy could actually like you. and then he does. and then hes wonderful. when youre with him or talk about him or even think about him your knees buckle, your palms sweat, you have butterflies in your stomach and you feel like your 16 years old. hes THAT guy that makes you wanna feel that way about someone forever. and then he makes you feel like a million bucks because hes THAT guy that you never thought you could have and then you have him. or so you think. and then you blink and realize you never had him at all. and youre back to that insufficient lowly girl you were before he ever gave you the time of day.
hes THAT guy you wish you could hate. you see him after youre back to lowly insufficient girl and after all the things you had planned out in your mind of what you would do (kick him) or say (bleep you) all you can do is smile and laugh and sit and listen and wonder how the hell youre still wondering.
hes THAT guy that makes you play back in your mind every little detail of what you did or could have done or said differently. maybe if i had done this or brushed him off or played games or this that and the other then maybe, just maybe, things would be different.
and for once i could be the girl that gets THAT guy and keeps him.
hes THAT guy that your friends tell you not to believe. hes THAT guy that you cant trust because youre convinced hes so good looking that he has girls throwing themselves at him. hes THAT guy that you want to believe. you want so badly to believe every word he says even when it makes no sense at all. because for just once you want to believe that someone is telling you the truth. and that you shouldnt have to read into every word the guy you like says.
hes THAT guy thats married to some gorgeous super down to earth, low key, wonderful girl and you wonder how she did it.
hes THAT guy that pushes you to be better. that makes you strive to do more, and be more and show that you deserve THAT guy. and he deserves you.
or maybe, world wide web, maybe hes just an asshole
hes THAT guy. you know. THAT guy you never thought you'd have. the guy you drool over, but never actually think you'll talk to. the guy thats so good looking that he makes you feel insufficient and insecure just being around him. and then he talks to you. and you think theres no way this guy could actually like you. and then he does. and then hes wonderful. when youre with him or talk about him or even think about him your knees buckle, your palms sweat, you have butterflies in your stomach and you feel like your 16 years old. hes THAT guy that makes you wanna feel that way about someone forever. and then he makes you feel like a million bucks because hes THAT guy that you never thought you could have and then you have him. or so you think. and then you blink and realize you never had him at all. and youre back to that insufficient lowly girl you were before he ever gave you the time of day.
hes THAT guy you wish you could hate. you see him after youre back to lowly insufficient girl and after all the things you had planned out in your mind of what you would do (kick him) or say (bleep you) all you can do is smile and laugh and sit and listen and wonder how the hell youre still wondering.
hes THAT guy that makes you play back in your mind every little detail of what you did or could have done or said differently. maybe if i had done this or brushed him off or played games or this that and the other then maybe, just maybe, things would be different.
and for once i could be the girl that gets THAT guy and keeps him.
hes THAT guy that your friends tell you not to believe. hes THAT guy that you cant trust because youre convinced hes so good looking that he has girls throwing themselves at him. hes THAT guy that you want to believe. you want so badly to believe every word he says even when it makes no sense at all. because for just once you want to believe that someone is telling you the truth. and that you shouldnt have to read into every word the guy you like says.
hes THAT guy thats married to some gorgeous super down to earth, low key, wonderful girl and you wonder how she did it.
hes THAT guy that pushes you to be better. that makes you strive to do more, and be more and show that you deserve THAT guy. and he deserves you.
or maybe, world wide web, maybe hes just an asshole
Friday, December 2, 2011
couples shower?
I read this at the beginning of my friend's blog the other day and its so perfect. its a wonderful opening note to a blog post. (or all of them)
"Oh man, I know I'm going to offend some people with this, though that's not my heart, intention, or motivation for writing out my thoughts here tonight...Just sharing some thoughts..."
the point is whether or not i offend you, it was never my intention. this is my blog, biatch :) if you dont like it, kick rocks! okay so, Adrienne said it a little nicer... the good news is no one blogs to stay in good standing with people. or maybe they do? but personally i think you just put all your shizzz out there and say "sorry, im not sorry" to anyone you may offend :) (that was for all you wedding crasher fans)
alright. lets get to the meat of it. shall we?
lets dissect the shower a bit, shall we?
maybe if i say shall we some more i will get my point across :)
okay... the shower...
a time for you. naked.
maybe you breathe. maybe you think. maybe you cry. maybe you pray. maybe you have a rubber ducky. maybe you listen to music. maybe you sing at the top of your lungs. maybe you sit in the shower. maybe you stand. maybe you hop. maybe you twirl. maybe you pick your nose.
(((hopefully you bathe)))
FOR ME it is a time to be alone. a time to pray and think and listen to music that my roommate doesnt want to hear. a time to sing along with no worries in the world. a time when i feel kind of somewhat comfortable being naked. kind of. (oh and yes, i bathe)
i hate nakedness. hate it. h-a-t-e i-t.
if i get in the shower after a long day at work i am most definitely going to have black mascara all over my face throughout the entire shower. and im naked.
if i get in the shower in the morning i will probably sleep standing up for about 10-15 minutes before i even realize where i am. and im naked.
the point is, it is not attractive.
no matter the circumstance
being in the shower is not a sexy thing. i have boogers coming out of my nose, i'm naked, i am constantly rubbing my eyes (just making the raccoon look even worse), im naked, i leave my conditioner in my hair while i wash my bod, im naked, i use a clarisonic face washer thats loud and beeps at me, im naked, i take forever to shave my legs, im naked, and if the water isnt completely scalding hot and covering my entire body i am freezing. did i mention im naked? and i hate nakedness????
so no.
no, thank you.
no couples shower for me.
"Oh man, I know I'm going to offend some people with this, though that's not my heart, intention, or motivation for writing out my thoughts here tonight...Just sharing some thoughts..."
the point is whether or not i offend you, it was never my intention. this is my blog, biatch :) if you dont like it, kick rocks! okay so, Adrienne said it a little nicer... the good news is no one blogs to stay in good standing with people. or maybe they do? but personally i think you just put all your shizzz out there and say "sorry, im not sorry" to anyone you may offend :) (that was for all you wedding crasher fans)
alright. lets get to the meat of it. shall we?
lets dissect the shower a bit, shall we?
maybe if i say shall we some more i will get my point across :)
okay... the shower...
a time for you. naked.
maybe you breathe. maybe you think. maybe you cry. maybe you pray. maybe you have a rubber ducky. maybe you listen to music. maybe you sing at the top of your lungs. maybe you sit in the shower. maybe you stand. maybe you hop. maybe you twirl. maybe you pick your nose.
(((hopefully you bathe)))
FOR ME it is a time to be alone. a time to pray and think and listen to music that my roommate doesnt want to hear. a time to sing along with no worries in the world. a time when i feel kind of somewhat comfortable being naked. kind of. (oh and yes, i bathe)
i hate nakedness. hate it. h-a-t-e i-t.
if i get in the shower after a long day at work i am most definitely going to have black mascara all over my face throughout the entire shower. and im naked.
if i get in the shower in the morning i will probably sleep standing up for about 10-15 minutes before i even realize where i am. and im naked.
the point is, it is not attractive.
no matter the circumstance
being in the shower is not a sexy thing. i have boogers coming out of my nose, i'm naked, i am constantly rubbing my eyes (just making the raccoon look even worse), im naked, i leave my conditioner in my hair while i wash my bod, im naked, i use a clarisonic face washer thats loud and beeps at me, im naked, i take forever to shave my legs, im naked, and if the water isnt completely scalding hot and covering my entire body i am freezing. did i mention im naked? and i hate nakedness????
so no.
no, thank you.
no couples shower for me.
Ooo Bahaya
I don't know how I've gone all this time without telling you about my trip but its time....
I learned all sorts of fun new words and phrases and compared how they say certain things like or unlike us. They found such humor in "y'all" :)
Aussie lingo:
When they say...it means...
Pissed- drunk
Spewin'- mad
Heaps- a lot
Yew- yew (picture "surfs up" hand motion when saying this)
Have a shower- take a shower
Touch wood- knock on wood
Arvo -afternoon
Indonesian lingo:
Oooo Bahaya (bu-hi-yuh)- ooo danger
Nasi goreng- fried rice
Nasi goreng ayam- chicken fried rice
Selamat pagi- good morning (I said good morning all day and night because I couldnt remember the others)
Hati Hati- danger!
Tidak- no
Apa kabar? - How are you?
You'll be amazed at how often one would say "oooo bahaya". or "hati hati" Hahah made for some good jokes in indo and Australia.
The Indonesians are the coolest people ever. So friendly and happy and smiley but chill. And everything is dirt cheap. I ate "nasi goreng" for $2. A huge plate of it and a fried egg. They have this spicy sauce that is sooo bomb on everything. I could get a giant bottled water for 70 cents. Our home stays in bali and on the island were $20/night divided by two people and the hut we stayed at on the beach at the surfers spot on Lombok island was $8/night but divided by two people!!!
The backpackers that were traveling through indo were awesome too. Everyone was super friendly and open to going anywhere with anyone and being spontaneous. Everyone was on the "no plan" plan. It was so fun. I met three Aussies on the beach in gili trawangan who just said "oh we leave tomorrow for Lombok (another nearby island) wanna come?" people were so friendly. The poor guys strapped my big ol' pack on the back of one of the motor bikes and off we went. Went with my gut on the whole trip and met some great people that I believe I will be friends with for a long time.
Australia was a totally different feel than traveling in Indonesia. My mom met up with me so I got a break between the $4 hut and the hostel in manly. I got to stay in a few 4 and 5 star hotels where I could do laundry and had wifi and a shower and a western toilet and clean towels. It was a refreshing change and so nice to see my mom after being sick with Bali belly and home sick! we met in cairns and stayed at Harbor Lights. I was like a little kid that had never stayed in a hotel when we got there. Ive never been so excited to do laundry! We had an amazing time scuba diving and eating amazing food and traveling all over. We laughed sooo much.
Overall this trip definitely changed me. It was an eye opening experience and just the tip of the iceberg I hope!!! It was just a small taste of what I want to be doing, traveling the world-me and my camera.
just me and my camera, world wide web!
I learned all sorts of fun new words and phrases and compared how they say certain things like or unlike us. They found such humor in "y'all" :)
Aussie lingo:
When they say...it means...
Pissed- drunk
Spewin'- mad
Heaps- a lot
Yew- yew (picture "surfs up" hand motion when saying this)
Have a shower- take a shower
Touch wood- knock on wood
Arvo -afternoon
Indonesian lingo:
Oooo Bahaya (bu-hi-yuh)- ooo danger
Nasi goreng- fried rice
Nasi goreng ayam- chicken fried rice
Selamat pagi- good morning (I said good morning all day and night because I couldnt remember the others)
Hati Hati- danger!
Tidak- no
Apa kabar? - How are you?
You'll be amazed at how often one would say "oooo bahaya". or "hati hati" Hahah made for some good jokes in indo and Australia.
The Indonesians are the coolest people ever. So friendly and happy and smiley but chill. And everything is dirt cheap. I ate "nasi goreng" for $2. A huge plate of it and a fried egg. They have this spicy sauce that is sooo bomb on everything. I could get a giant bottled water for 70 cents. Our home stays in bali and on the island were $20/night divided by two people and the hut we stayed at on the beach at the surfers spot on Lombok island was $8/night but divided by two people!!!
The backpackers that were traveling through indo were awesome too. Everyone was super friendly and open to going anywhere with anyone and being spontaneous. Everyone was on the "no plan" plan. It was so fun. I met three Aussies on the beach in gili trawangan who just said "oh we leave tomorrow for Lombok (another nearby island) wanna come?" people were so friendly. The poor guys strapped my big ol' pack on the back of one of the motor bikes and off we went. Went with my gut on the whole trip and met some great people that I believe I will be friends with for a long time.
Australia was a totally different feel than traveling in Indonesia. My mom met up with me so I got a break between the $4 hut and the hostel in manly. I got to stay in a few 4 and 5 star hotels where I could do laundry and had wifi and a shower and a western toilet and clean towels. It was a refreshing change and so nice to see my mom after being sick with Bali belly and home sick! we met in cairns and stayed at Harbor Lights. I was like a little kid that had never stayed in a hotel when we got there. Ive never been so excited to do laundry! We had an amazing time scuba diving and eating amazing food and traveling all over. We laughed sooo much.
Overall this trip definitely changed me. It was an eye opening experience and just the tip of the iceberg I hope!!! It was just a small taste of what I want to be doing, traveling the world-me and my camera.
just me and my camera, world wide web!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)